Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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