WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
