Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
