some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
