It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
