Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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