hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
