I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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