I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
