Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
