There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
