i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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