You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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