It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
