Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Randomize
