so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
