i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize