I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She bit a glass in half.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
