i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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