Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
