I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize