having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
