and my herpes radar will keep us safe
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
