Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize