How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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