i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
