did you get engaged???
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Randomize
