I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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