I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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