Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
