and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
