I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
