She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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