Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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