I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My balls are so social today.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
