i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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