OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
