so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
