Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
