Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
