I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
