We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
