your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
