You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
