you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
