I'm going to jail i love you
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
