Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
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dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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