Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My penis needs a shock collar
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
