Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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