who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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