is your mom at the bar?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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