Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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