did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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