I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
