I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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